Hang On Little Tomato

New Year, New Beginnings

I started out this year, with kind of a dismal mood.   Now that we’re half way through February, I think I’ve found my stride and discovered so much to be happy about. 

I’ve decided that once and for all I need to keep the past behind me.   The past is the past, things happened for a reason.  I need to embrace the here and now, lest I lose that because I’m looking backward.  I realize how unhealthy it was to keep leaning on the crutches of the past.   Sure the future is scary, but I’m not alone by any means.  The boyfriend and I have conquered extraordinary feats together in the almost one year we’re together.  And things are about to get even more exciting in the years to come.  I’ve resolved to stay with him, so long as he promises to stay out of trouble.  I thought I had made myself clear in the past, but sometimes I guess you need a good scare to motivate yourself to be good.  At any rate, we are better than we’ve ever been.  If things continue, we should be progressing to the next step in the next six months or so.  

That’s right!!  We will be moving in together in the next few months!!  I’m working up the courage and working out my own demons about it in the meantime.  He’s all for it; I’m doing my best not to freak out.  I’m working towards getting comfortable with it.  All I’ve ever done is the wrong way before.  That’s all I know and all I’m afraid of, is repeating the same mistakes.  Finally we’ve got a strong relationship (after months of ups and downs).  Things are in the works for a year from now (can’t say now, just trust HUGE THINGS that only super couples do- I’m convinced!).  Hoping he is a changed man from the way things used to be (crazy drinking, partying, etc).  

I’m ready to grow up. I’m ready to love fully and completely.  And follow love, wherever it may take us.   

SuperPuppy

Even though I dislike my roommate, I adore his dog.

My evening took a figurative shit, and spending 45 mins with the puppy instantly erased my bad mood.

I walked away with a smashed nose and numerous cuts and scrapes. But my pissiness was replaced with a smile.

I love that crazy, crazy dog.

In A Crowded, Noisy Room…

… I can still hear the voices of those I miss. The holidays aren’t the same without them.

We may be far apart, but always close in heart. Warm thoughts and wonderful memories. You aren’t forgotten.

Posting Like Someone Actually Reads This

Things have been challenging lately, to say the least in my household of one.

I’ve wanted to throw in the towel so many times out of sheer frustration.  But all I ever need to do is to take a look around and realize the only way out of this, is to keep on going.

In happier news, I will be out of school in approximately 30 units, which is really like 1.5 years in Ms. Patootie world. Pretty stoked.  Shit, I should be a freaking doctor with all this schooling I’ve had. Christ.

I’m praying for patience, wishing for wisdom, hoping for perseverance.  I never in my wildest dreams imagined that 26 would have been like this.  Now I’m staring down the barrel of 27.  I keep telling myself that “I’m just waiting for the right time.  The right man.”  Seeing 27 on the page looks even weirder than saying it.  I can’t ever regret these almost 10 years of singledom.  I’ve almost accomplished everything I hoped to.  I’m more able than I ever imagined I could be.  I know what I want (and what I don’t) more than ever.  I just need to go for it (and I finally am! After school- I’m moving!! No. Matter. What.)

I’ve stumbled across some other blogs lately, telling the exact story I dream of.  Keeping my story secret for now.  But good Lord, does it warm my heart to know that everything I think I want could actually happen.  I will get my Hollywood movie ending, dammit.